You just pissed me off so bad after I poured my heart out to you with my hospital experience. Open up your fucking mind and realize that there is more than just us here.
You can take the bible and wipe your fucking ass with ass with it! Chatting to a guy for a while on OKC, he visits me from down south, all seems good, have foods, have drinks, have sexy times. Good 2 days with lots of noisy sex. Unsurprisingly I have no contact with him at all after that and still occasionally check his local paper to see if he was been brought up on any charges. Talked to a girl for a couple weeks when we agreed to meet up.
The plan was to just cruise around all night. At one point we stop for a minute and she asked if I mind if she smokes for a minute. Then I hear this popping crackling sound….
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Everything was cool, but never talked or heard from her again. Seemed like a nice girl, but considering the date started with an hour long phone call of her screaming at people over her baby daddy saying shit while driving erratically that girl was plenty crazy. First date, we got drunk, went back to her place and she asked if I was down to smoke some weed. She decides gets up to open up window got a bit smoky. She then decides to jump back on her bed, miscalculates and bounces off her bed then slams her head on her nightstand. Which got super awkward.
It got even more awkward after, because she suggested we do acid. Have some drinks, watch TV, hang out with her cats, then have sex! Wake up to sunshine and cigarettes and kiss goodbye and head out.
Cue two or three of her friends sending me death threats and harassing me for being a lying asshole and other psycho made-up things. Later on I take her to a restaurant for dinner, she wants pizza so we split a pizza. A few years ago a friend of mine set up profiles on a few dating sites and she asked me to join them, too, so I could give my opinion on the guys she talked to.
So I put up blank profiles on two or three different sites. Every now and then, years later, I get dick pics. Dick pics on a blank profile. Do guys think this will work?
17 People Share Online Dating Horror Stories
This girl and I messaged back and forth for a while. Got along pretty well. We decided to meet up about half way between both our hometowns. We basically sit in the car for two hours insulting one another. She calls me short, I call her flat chested. Afterward, we say our goodbyes and I head back home.
I liked weird fantasy books. Things were going well. At the end of the date, she leaned in toward me and we kissed. It was one of those beautiful, floating-on-a-cloud type of kisses. I think she meant it to be a playful, innocent sort of bite. Instead, she took a chomp out of me. I felt like she was trying to bite my lip off.
17 People Share Online Dating Horror Stories | Thought Catalog
Needless to say, I shouted in pain. My lip was suddenly bleeding heavily.
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I pulled away quickly, but not before some of the blood from my lip got into her mouth. She instinctively spat the blood back out on me. It landed on my face and shirt. A little landed in my eye, stinging. Not exactly what I needed to hear as I desperately cratered my bleeding lip.
10 Of The Creepiest Stories About Online Dating
I grabbed a bunch of napkins and stuffed them in my mouth. When I looked back up, she was gone. We met on a Tuesday night. Stayed up all night drinking and talking. I sobered up a bit, we went to his bed, he fell asleep mid-BJ and I went to sleep for about 45 minutes. Then, I got up, went to work with my first hangover, had an awful day at work because of said hangover, then went back to his place that night. He had made me a key to his place.
After I had met him once. The rest of the evening though, he kept telling me that he loved me , my body was his to do with as I pleased for as long as I wanted him, that I was his Mama Bear , etc. I figured I could deal with it for the night and break the news to him the next day, so we went to bed.
First of all, let me now and forever swear to you that this entire story is true , beginning to end. Tina Fey could not even create this as fiction. I found him physically kind of gross ponytail, tobacco-blackened gums , but that was the least of his problems. We sat at the the bar and I attempted to make the usual conversation: Eventually we moved to a table to have dinner.
I like to put on a clown suit, drop acid, and drive to the mall to dance with the little children. He kept talking so long that when he actually asked me a question, I remember I was literally startled. I, um, I guess I shoplifted when I was thirteen. Oh, so the question was just to get back to his story. I once burned down a building for money. It was nice to meet you. Met a guy on the bus on the way home from school one night.
And he seemed like a nice guy. We text a few times over the next week. He shows up at my door one night. Fine, I was just watching reruns of South Park in my jammies anyway. We go upstairs, start to get a little freaky. He takes his pants off and I start blowing him. Two minutes later, he does. I run to the bathroom, wash my mouth out, gargle with chlorhexidine and take an antihistamine. Then he sees me walking home from the bus one night and calls to me from his garden.